This is going to be even less organized than the other blog posts, fair warning. This is just putting my fucked up mind down and trying to convince myself its ok because nobody reads these, and if you don’t want to hear about some kid whining about themself then leave now.
Then again, I infect my negativity on every freaking internet space I inhabit, so why not double down on my own website, ey?????
I am so completely messed up and broken and keep hiding it behind this stupid veneer of being innocent and going with everyone and i
like i barely have any motivation or driving force to make something, anything of actual value, like I START stuff but i just cant return to them after a week like look at how much this website hasnt changed since I got the grid layout done???
like the radio club i dumped and the dump of communities ive been kicked from because of how much i beg for other people to help constantly and like
i cant do anything by myself and
i keep getting myself stuck in these endless pits in my mind and never going anywhere and never making anything new beyond the stupid routines i lock myself into
like the daily drawing and comic
those are like the only “long running” thing i can even muster up the goddamn willpower to do and like
i dont know
i dont know why im even talking to you
you
who even are you, why do you care about me i barely have anything on here
just some stupid links to other websites, a small handful of novelties and like 1 thing actually bringing people back (the comic)
am i jsut going to be forgotten
i dont have anything
i cant CONSISTENTLY make anything
its jsut stupid flash in the pan ideas i cant follow through on
you have NOT seen how many experimental pages on here have like one or two elements
i cant follow through on anything
im constantly envioujs of everyone
i ruin half the relationships i make
i so badly wish i was just normal and didnt have ADHD and autism or whatever the hell is wrong with my brain
again i dont know WHY im talking to you about this
what am i even doing
